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 by James, Relationship Expert
Renee
Grant-Williams, a celebrity vocal coach, says, "The people we deal with
in life come to know us by the three ways in which we present
ourselves: (a) how we look; (b) what we say; and (c) how we say it."
Obviously, this applies just as much to women as it does to men. If not
more.
So if you want to impress
women, you're gonna have to carefully think about how you present
yourself. Let's look at each category.
A. How We Look
Whether
you like it or not, dress is crucial. It says a lot about you: whether
you care about how you look, or you don't. But you don't have to dress
like a Hollywood celebrity to look good.
Here are some tips on how to dress for success:
1. Get a female friend or sister to help you pick your clothes.
If you don't know what to wear, get someone who does know! Ask a female
friend or acquaintance to go shopping with you. She's sure to be
flattered, and if you reward her with a gift certificate or DVD, she'll
be all the more motivated to help you out.
2. Check out the latest styles.
Go to the bar or club and see what others are wearing. Observe what the
guys who do well with women wear. Look in magazines and catalogues and
see what it's in style.
3. Wear what conforms to your identity.
Hey, if you're the hardworking, businessman type, wear formal clothes
that accent your career. If you're the snowboarder/skater type, wear
grungy clothes that accent your loose, laid-back persona. And if you're
really into music, don't be afraid to express yourself with the types
of clothes that rock stars and musicians like to wear! You can't force
a style upon yourself; clothes are a form of marketing, so market
yourself like you would a product, in the way that best shows what
you're all about.
The
same goes for your hair: If you want to convey a clean-cut, crisp
image, then you might want to shave and cut your hair short. But if
you're trying to convey a rebel image, a goatee, long hair, and tattoos
are probably in order.
And speaking
of tattoos, don't forget that they are an ACCESSORY that further helps
you to market yourself. Tats, jewelry, and even hats are great ways to
mold your image to the man you want to present to women. If you're a
snowboarder, for example, a wool hat says "Cool". Or if you're an
aspiring rapper or musician, a doo rag has a place in your wardrobe.
Consider the accessories that best conform to you as a person.
B. What We Say
Here are some great topics to talk about:
* Your dreams.
Let a girl know that you have a purpose and direction in your life, that you're not a wandering bum!
* Funny stories.
Humor is a great aphrodisiac. Think about some funny things that have
happened in your life. But make sure your delivery is good--more below.
* Her.
The Dalai Lama said, “Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by
saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an
impression by remaining silent.” Don't be afraid to let a girl speak
for a while. Be silent, but be interested. Actively listen to what she
says. It'll go a long way towards upping the attraction meter!
* Teasing/Playing around.
This is a great technique, especially if you don't know exactly what to
talk about. Throw in an occasional joke or funny moment. I have a
friend who has a great technique for handling silence. He laughs to
himself, prompting the girl to ask, "What?" He'd say in a sly way that
would invite curiosity, "Nah, you don't want to know. I'm in deep
thought." She'd respond, "Tell me! Tell me!" So he'd do the whole Meow
Mix song ("Meow meow meow meow..."). It's just one of many great ways
to lighten the moment, and show you're a relaxed, none-too-serious
person.
* Last but not least, sex.
One relationship guru brilliantly says, “TALKING about sex is the first
step towards having it.” Ask her if she’s a bad girl, or what’s the
craziest thing she’s ever done in her life—with a bit of innuendo added
into your voice. This isn't the kind of stuff you want to talk about
right away, but when things are going good, it's great to show your
"inner bad boy". She’ll know what you mean, and get excited thinking
about it.
Likewise, here are some topics that you SHOULD NOT talk about:
- Offensive humor. Chris Rock's racial humor may be entertaining, but it's not a good topic for a first date!
- Politics. There's nothing to be gained by arguing over issues and parties.
- Past girlfriends.
An absolute no-no. All you do is play a game that makes one of you
jealous or suspicious of the other. Stay away from this topic, but if
she DOES ask you about past girlfriends, talk respectfully about them
so you don't come off as an insecure whiner.
- Inside jokes between you and your friends. They're called inside jokes for a reason--keep them that way!
- Anything that could be interpreted as geeky or dorky,
such as science-fiction. Unless you know for a fact that she's into
science fiction and comic books, keep it to yourself for now. The last
thing you want to come across as is a geek!
- Too much about yourself, your possessions, how great you are, etc.
Bragging only makes you look insecure. Even if you own a yacht, don't
talk about it like it makes you any more special than her.
C. How We Say It
Of
course, none of these topics, particularly funny stories, are gonna
work if you don't know to deliver them. Delivery in speech is crucial.
People who have good delivery can make an otherwise dull story an
exciting one. I highly suggest you read "Voice Power" by the
aforementioned Renee grant Williams. Here are some tips she recommends:
1. Use consonants.
That is, accent your speech. If you're talking about a great concert
you went to, no one will believe it's that great if you say in a
monotone voice, "That was a great concert." That puts people to sleep.
Instead, say, "Man, that was a grrrreat concert!" The Tony the Tiger
voice. If she says something, don't say as if you're bored, "Really."
Say, "Rrrreally?", then, with emphasis, "WOW." It works!
2. Don't use unnecessary words and details.
If you're talking about a time when you and your friends went to
Cancun, don't bother with the unnecessary details like the food they
served on the plane, the wait for the taxi, or the sheets they used in
the hotel. Get to the point!
3. Silence.
As Williams says, Silence does speak a thousand words. There's nothing
better than the "power pause", especially when trying to captivate your
listeners with a story of bravery. You can lead up to something
powerful, then pause while the girl takes it in and after a few seconds
of silence, say, "But that's not all..." Or
4. Drama and comedy.
Don't be afraid to sprinkle some dramatic and comedic flair into your
speech. If you're talking about a goofy incident with your buddy, laugh
along with it. When you laugh, it's a cue for other people to laugh.
Chris Rock does this all the time; he laughs at his own scripts, and it
has the power of making his routine all the funnier. Likewise, if
you're telling a dramatic story of something amazing like rescuing
people from a car accident, talk with conviction and suspense. It
really goes a long way towards spellbinding women; they love a great
story, especially a heroic one.
5. Use body language.
It's not enough to talk with your arms beside your side and your butt
on your seat. Talk with your arms, with your hands, your body language
creating a sense of excitement. It's a fact: enthusiasm is contagious.
So show some enthusiasm with your vocal and body languages!
Finally, change your pitch.
If things are going well, lower your pitch, give her your best Barry
White. If you're talking about a funny moment, a louder, more excited
pitch is probably best. Recognize the mood and alter your voice to
conform to it.
Congratulations!
You're on your way to making great impressions on great women.
Recognize the power of speech and appearance, and you're bound to
succeed.
Don't forget, if you want to learn more about making
yourself unforgettable to women by making unforgettable
impressions, visit my website at How to Be Irresistible to Women: The Premium Course.
Now it's YOUR turn!
James
Author of the How to Be Irresistible to Women: The Premium Course
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About the author:
James is the author of the latest edition of How to Be Irresistible to Women: The Premium Course. His years of dating experience and international travel
have tutored him in the art of meeting and seducing females the
world over and introduces a worldly approach to dating and
developing real relationships necessary for the modern man.
The How to Be Irresistible to Women: The Premium Course package offers single men a
dynamic and comprehensive tool-kit to attract women and establish an
honest and supportive relationship. You can learn more about how to
attract the woman of your dreams at:
How to Be Irresistible to Women: The Premium Course
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